Where Are You Right Now?

Where are You right now? Not physically. I am not asking you where you are sitting or what you are doing. I am asking you something much deeper than that. Think about it. Where are you right now mentally, spiritually, in your health, your thoughts, and your behavior? Where are you right now? Have you ever thought about that?

This is an important question and one I did not know how to answer for the longest time. This question was first posed to me during my time in college, working on my first degree. It was in a four-year Bachelor of Nursing program.

For anyone who has been in nursing school, or I can imagine, several degree programs, the actual process of going through an educational program can put a huge amount of stress on you. There are the physical demands and the mental demands. How can I balance work, family, and school? Will I graduate? What does this mean for me when and if it is all over? Many students never make it through their college years, dropping out for various reasons.

I was in this situation going into my third year of a four-year degree. Where I went, nursing school was tough. The instructors were brutal and not nice. I did not know if I was actually going to make it through.

My self-worth was in the toilet. I was referred to as a red sock in a white washing machine by one of the elderly nursing instructors right in the middle of her lecture in a huge classroom. I felt her eyes staring on me as I shrank in my chair. Fear, anger, and self-doubt poured over me. It wasn’t pretty.

It was after that I sought someone to talk to. The college had a behavior health program (psych) and they offered free counseling to the students at the college. Yes, the counselors were students but it was free, so I tried it out.

The very first meeting, Tom asked me, “Where are you right now?” I stared at him like what the… I had no idea what he meant by that. I had to ask him to explain what he was asking me. Even when he did, I did not fully understand what it was he sought. Yes, I am very dense sometimes but once I get something, it sticks. This was not sticking and no magical revelation came to me.

We set up weekly appointments to help get me through my third year. Each week he would ask me that same stupid question. I started getting mad and finally told him, “Don’t ask me that!” He agreed and we continued with our sessions.

Through the year, I began to change. It’s been a very long time ago so I cannot tell you how I changed. I

can only tell you I became stronger mentally. In turn, I became stronger physically. The physical and mental are connected in case you did not know that. Just throwing that out there.

The end of the school year was coming to a close. My sessions with Tom were coming to an end. At the last session for the school year, I looked at him. I told him that I now knew what he was trying to ask me.

Tom looked me squarely in the eyes and asked me his favorite question, the one I first despised, “Where are you right now?” And I was able to tell him. I finally understood the deeper meaning to what was sought.

We said our goodbyes with tears and hugs. I returned that next year, ready to conquer my final year of nursing school, stronger and confident. But Tom was not there. He had graduated. They gave me to someone else. Someone who did not ask that question. Someone I did not have that “connection” with. After a few sessions, I quit going.

I went on with my life without counseling and without Tom. Successfully completing my senior year of nursing school with all A’s. The nursing instructors and clinicals were suddenly easy and I excelled in my classes. It was a great year made possible by what I was taught by someone who cared enough to ask me where I was.

Mentoring and Counseling

I bring this remembrance up as a way to stress the importance of mentoring and counseling. Both terms have a different meaning, yet they are also intertwined. In its simplest form, mentoring means to train or advise someone. The definition of counseling gets a little more complicated. Counseling is defined as providing assistance and guidance in resolving personal, social, or psychological problems and difficulties, especially by a professional. Each can have benefits in a person’s life.

Not everyone may need counseling on a regular basis but there are times when it can be helpful. Counseling can help when facing a series of tough times, personal challenges, dealing with a death, or major life event. Some like to see counselors on a regular basis just to touch base and have a resource.

Mentoring can and should play a major role in the life of a believer. As believers, we are called to mentor and support each other, helping each other to grow in Christ and navigate this world. But good mentors are hard to find and even harder to keep.

If you can find a mentor, they may desire to keep you in a position of submission and need. This is not being a good mentor. Good mentors support and guide you, directing your path, and telling you the truth no matter how hard it may be for the both of you. Great mentors train you to be able to mentor others. They teach you how to fish while still being a support. Great mentors are hard to find.

Everyone can use someone to talk to sometime in their life. Life is too hard not to have that someone. There are times when we are strong and times when we are not so strong. Its not a weakness to talk to someone be it on a regular basis or when times are tough. It is a sign of strength that you care enough about yourself to seek help.

Mentoring is biblical. Jesus mentored the disciples. Paul mentored Timothy. Praying to God is always to be our first go to but God also put people in our path to help us through this journey.

Good mentors will ask you the tough questions including where are you right now? How is your spiritual life going? What challenges have you faced since the last time we talked? How did you handle them? What are you struggling with? Do you think that was the right response? How should you have handled it? Let’s talk through what you’re facing right now, what’s bothering you, what your plans are. Great mentors will be there for you, train you, and step away when its time but always ready at a moment’s notice should you need them again. We all need someone to talk to, even mentors.

Jesus is a relational God, and we are relational people. We were created that way. We grow through interacting with others. Growing together in our spirituality is part of the process of spiritual formation.

As for that wonderful instructor who said I was a red sock in a white washing machine that would eventually get washed out during my third year of nursing school. Well, next year she was gone, and I went forward to have my best year ever. Looking at where I was and learning how to identify what was going on in my life so I could work through it brought me to a new level of self-discovery.

I am still a red sock in a white washing machine. But red socks do not always get washed out. Red socks tend to fade throughout the wash onto other items, spreading whatever they have to share.

Are you a red sock? Just because you are a red sock, doesn't mean you can't get out there and kick it. Have you ever been affected by a red sock? God has plans for all of us and it is not for one person to say what those plans are. God has the final say, we just need to listen for His voice and follow His lead. Counselors and mentors are there to help the process.

So, let me ask you… Where are you right now?