One Event Can Change Everything, be it Good or Bad

On February 15th, 2002, I had to say goodbye to a fur child. That was twenty years ago. My parents and I had our dog for 16 ½ years. There were times of health and sickness. In his final years, he was blind from cataracts in both eyes. He needed to be carried most places. Yet, he was happy. He had a smile on his face most times and he slept with me every night. Sport was a precious part of our family. His death left a huge hole in all of us and me with a very dark heart.

Sport had cancer. His final days were spent trying to feed him and get him to take some water. He was in pain, but he tried not to show it. Animals do that, hide their pain, so the other members of the pack do not attack out of weakness. He stayed in one of our arms almost constantly, not wanting to leave us.

He was a stout 27-pound Lhasa Apso. By the end of his life, he was

down to a mere 14 pounds, skin and bones. When my dad and I

brought him in for euthanasia, the doctor gasped at the sight of him.

He should have been left to cross over on Valentine’s Day but none of us had the heart to say so. My parents were waiting for my lead to make the final decision. It was something I could not do and then he started to bleed out.

No doubt, you think I am a monster for waiting. Its not that I had hopes for a miraculous healing, but I did experience how he just wanted to stay with us. When I had mentioned to my parents that we were going to have to put him down soon, his head shot up and he looked at me. That really did not help the decision process. It was as if he understood what I had said.

We said goodbye to Sport on a Thursday mid-day. The doctor’s office was kind to have the office cleared of people. It was just us, the doctor and one office person. My dad and I walked out the door with my fur child wrapped in his towel. It had his name on it. We picked mom up at the house and drove to the cemetery/crematorium.

I laid Porter down in a crib they had. Letting him gently slip out of my arms into the basket. Tears flowed down my face. I then joined my parents in the main room to pick out a box for his internment. We chose an ornament that looked like him. Dad paid the bill and we left. We went home without my fur baby.

The days were filled with grief and loss. My empty bed became unbearable. My schedule turned upside down as my days were spent caring for Porter. I no longer had to get up to walk him much less get dressed. I could stay in my night clothes all day, and no one would care. Though it would be difficult to do my job dressed in PJ’s. I no longer had to rush home to walk my dog. All of that was gone and I was alone. Yes, I had my parents, but we began to drift apart.

We said goodbye to Sport on Thursday. On Sunday, the third day, something happened. Something I will never forget and changed my life forever.

Sunday was a beautiful day. The skies were clear all day. Not a cloud filled the sky. There was no mention of rain or any type of inclement weather. It was quite a treat for February. By evening, my parents and I were in our usual place in the family room. It is the family room where we sit in today, watching TV and eating our supper.

Everyone had finished eating. Mom went to the downstairs bathroom and dad went to the upstairs bathroom. That left me alone, in the family room, by myself. As I sat in the family room by myself, I looked down at the floor where Porter’s toys still laid. I began to be filled with an intense grief, something I had not allowed myself to feel.

I began to sob deeply, feeling the pain that I was trying not to. And then it happened. From nowhere, rain poured out of the sky. The rain was very heavy, and its sound filled the living room. There was no missing it. There was no mistaking it. It was pouring rain, harder than I ever heard.

Rain was not forecasted for our area. The day had been crystal clear. No clouds! No mention of rain on the evening news. This was not supposed to be happening. But it was and it happened while I was crying and experiencing the emotions of such a deep loss to me.

My mind pulled me out of my sinking grief, and I first thought that it might be Sport trying to talk to me in some way. I came to my senses and realized that as much as I loved that dog, he did not have the power to make it rain. But someone else did, God.

God was reaching out to me in a way He knew I would understand. In a way He knew, I could connect with. God was telling me how sad He was too. God cared about me enough to reach out to me.

The rain stopped just as suddenly as it started. It was finished. I sat there in wonder. Did I really hear that? Was I imagining it? Then mom and dad both came back from their bathroom visits. Both commented on hearing the rain. I did not imagine it. It really happened. I sat there in thought the rest of the night, not saying anything to them about what happened.

Shortly after that night, I found myself inside a church and reconnecting with my Heavenly Father. That is the short version of the story. Maybe, I’ll share the walk I took to get into that church and into my Father’s arms at another time as it is quite a story in itself.

Here is the important thing. Sport’s death had meaning. It played a part in God’s plan for my life. God used the painful death of my fur child to connect with me and bring me home. To bring me back to Him. God used a manner of connecting that He knew I would respond to. After all, He wired me in the first place. God knows how much animals and nature mean to me. He knows I look for signs and guidance in various ways and He used the death of my dog to show me how much He cared about me. God cared that I was hurting. He was hurting too, for me. And He used His power to show me His presence and emotions toward me.

How One Event Can Change Everything

I was going down a dark path after my dog died. My parents and I were drifting apart. I was angry all the time. I was so full of hate that my parents had actually told me they were going to ask me to move out of my own house. It was not a pretty time.

But during that time, I found a church and new friends, many of whom still are. The loss of Sport not only led me back into the arms of God but also into ministry. I joined the choir at church. I taught little girls about discipleship, mission work, and ministry. I developed health fairs and health screenings for the church. And it was at the church where I felt called to go into ministry full time.

I later moved on to another church where I felt the call to become a minister. The church denomination was supportive, and I started seminary. I gave my first sermon at this church. I had the opportunity to do more health fairs, health education and screenings, movie nights, and had the chance to be a worship leader.

I soon started seminary. It was in seminary that I met a whole group of other friends, pastors and reverends, people who I am still friends with and who are mentors and supports. It was while I was in

seminary that I had the opportunity to experience a spiritual retreat, something that changed me forever. I developed a desire to create such a place locally and is currently in planning. A place for people to come in a safe and warm environment. To learn and grow. To experience God’s love and presence. Maybe, I will see you there someday.

During my time in seminary, I had the opportunity to do an internship at a new church start. I ran the livestream and watched over the social media pages. Again, meeting many people and having the opportunity of a lifetime.

After seminary, I went on to earn my doctorate in ministry. Again, meeting new friends and having many experiences. It was during this time that more dreams and opportunities arose. You are experiencing one of those opportunities right now, this blog page.

Can you see what one event or experience can do in your life? What I am trying to share with you is how your path can change over just one thing. Yes, it was painful. The loss in my life was hard. But God used it for good. He reached out to me and touched my heart as only He could. He brought me back into His arms.

God redirected my life through the death of my fur child. Sport’s death set me on a path of darkness and isolation. Seeing God’s hand was life altering. Seeing how God cared enough about me to share my pain and show His presence? Unbelievable to the point where I went in search of God. I not only came back to God but also began a life of ministry. I met many new friends, many who are still my friends today. And I have had some of the most wonderful experiences with more to come!

Any event or experience can be used by God. Whether it is a painful and tragic time or a time of joy. All things are used for our good (Romans 8:28). My favorite verse and one I attached myself too very early in returning to the church is in Jeremiah. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." And check out Psalms 32:8, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.”

God knows us before we were even conceived (Jeremiah 1:5). He has a plan for us. He never leaves us or forsakes us. And 2 Peter 3:9 says he is always on time and keeps His promises. Top it off with Psalm 32:8, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you” and there is no doubt, God’s timing and plan for your life is trustworthy.

But the key to it all is twofold. 1. Know God and accept Him into your life as Lord and Savior! 2. Listen and follow God. It’s important that we listen to His voice, His signs, His Word. We also must follow His plan for our lives. How often is it that we just want to do our own thing? I’m guilty. More times than I care to admit but I will. I want to live my life on my terms and in my way. But that is not the right way. Moreover, God tells us, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

God reached out to me at one of my darkest times in life (so far). I have many more dark times to face in my life such as the death of my parents. But the important thing here is that He reached out to me. He connected with me in a way that is unique to me. You have those ways too. You just have to look and watch for them.

I was heading down a dark, dark, road and God intervened. Not only did He stop me from going down that dark road, but He also changed the course of my life forever. I would have never walked back into a church on my own. That is not where my head or heart was.

If I had not responded to God’s outreach, to His leading, I would have never met all the wonderful people who I call friends and brothers and sisters in Christ. I would have never been able to experience all the outreach and mission opportunities that have filled my life. I certainly would have never gone to seminary or preach.

Sure, God may have used another time in my life but is that God’s timing or plan? Only God knows. But I did respond. It was not an easy journey. I had many dark things holding me back. I struggled and fought to get to where I am today. I went through spiritual warfare that forever changed me.

Are you facing or have faced something tragic in your life? Are you feeling despair and loneliness, wondering why God would allow such a thing in your life? Everything has purpose. God uses it all for the good of the kingdom. Listen and follow. Learn and grow. Watch for God and how He is working in your life. You are so much more than a sparrow to Him and look how He cares for the sparrow.

Don’t let a tragedy or dark time in your life make you believe there is nothing more. God says different. Esther also wondered. But maybe, you were made for a time such as this (Ester 4:14).

Peace,

Janet