New Beginnings and Self Discovery? Is it Possible?
- onlyjesus01
- Jul 19, 2021
- 9 min read
Who are you? Can you answer that question? I don’t mean your name or where you live or what you do for a living. This is a serious question. Do you know who you are? Do you know what makes up your being? Do you know why you respond to things the way you do? Do you know how you learn best? What makes up your personality? Why you behave like you do?
I use to think I knew who I was. If asked who I am I would say that I am a daughter, registered nurse, caregiver, a cook, a housekeeper, a chauffer, a student, worship leader, and an employee. But is that who I really am? Is that my essence or is that my role in life right now? It was then that reality sank in and I realized that I had no clue who I was. Sure, everyone who is a Christian can say they are a child of God. But who are you REALLY? This is a question that everyone should ask themselves. You might be surprised of the answer, or lack of.
If you can’t answer these questions, I would like to invite you to take a journey of self-discovery. That may unnerve or even scare you but taking the time to discover who you are and what makes you tick will be worth it when you make it through the process.
There are many ways to discover who you are and what makes you tick. There are personality assessments, behavior assessments, learning style assessments, Emmaus walks, personal counseling, spiritual retreats, silent retreats, and time spent delving into your family’s past. Simply looking at your past behaviors when you responded to a negative or positive event in your life can be quite revealing. Your passions and dislikes are also a puzzle piece in the great puzzle of you.
Just as your spiritual journey is a process, so is the process of self-discovery. The great thing about self-discovery is that it helps you to grow closer in your relationship with Jesus. When you discover who you are and what makes you tick, you discover the ways you connect best with God. Discovering who you are helps you to identify your passions, the things that drive you, move you to action. It helps you to identify ministry opportunities to tap into, ones that fit your abilities and your strengths.
Self-discovery can be painful as you delve into your past, your behaviors, and the events in your life that have shaped and formed you. But these same painful events and behaviors are also what might be holding you back in your spiritual growth, affecting how you interact with others, and with God. Self-discovery can be fun and exciting as you follow the trail to what drives you, what gives you your strength, and reveals your positive characteristics. Are you ready for a new beginning through a journey of self-discovery?
There is no one right way to self-discovery. Just as there are many paths to connect with God, there many ways to discover who you are. When asking the question of who we are, keep in mind that we are all children of God and are made in God’s image. This is our starting point and our foundation.
No matter what you discover along your path to self-discovery, you are God’s child, and He loves you. He knew you before you were formed in your mother’s womb. The next thing to keep in mind is that you are no surprise to God. No matter how perfect or messed up you are right now, God already knew how you were going to turn out in every phase of your life.
Here is the great thing, God loves you no matter what. No matter how perfect or messed up we are, God loves us just as much now as yesterday and in our tomorrows. He also loves us too much to leave us in our sin. God wants us to grow. He wants us to succeed. He wants us to transform into the image of Jesus.
We are unique. Even though we are made in the image of God, and connected through the blood of Jesus, we are all unique. We have our own thoughts, beliefs, physical characteristics, behaviors, likes, dislikes, past experiences, learning styles, and spiritual gifts.
We also have our own ways of connecting with God. How we connect with God may be the most important thing we can discover about ourselves. If you want to thrive in your relationship with Jesus, if you want to experience a spiritual formation beyond what you may have read in books, then you need to discover the best way for YOU to connect with YOUR God.
This is about you and your relationship with your heavenly Father. It is not about how Joel Osteen connects with God. It is not how Beth Moore or Joyce Meyers connects with God. It is not about being all holy like Billy Graham. This is about you and your connection with the Creator of the universe.
You are spiritually wired to connect with God in a way only you can. Once you tap into that source, that unique way of communicating through the Holy Spirit, the spiritual world becomes yours to explore and transform into the image of Christ.
Discovering who we are requires us to step out of our box, to let go of our preconceived ideas of who we should be and let go of the person we pretend to be. It is a time to unleash the real person who is hidden away from everyone else. The great discovery is finding our true self, the one who has been tucked away, hidden from ourselves and the world. It’s never too late to step out of your box and begin the journey of self-discovery.
So, how do we discover who we are? There is no right way or wrong way. It all starts with taking that first step. Some people start with a prayer to God asking for help and guidance. Others look for ways God speaks to them. It’s not uncommon for me to see God in nature or through signs. I am not talking about road signs but subtle things that only I would notice. For me, they usually come in threes. Why threes? Because I am too hardheaded to believe the first sign He sends. It takes a lot for me to trust and get the picture. I look at it as a ball bat swinging at my head. Three swings and you’re out! There are no coincidences. There is no such thing as luck. Everything on this planet is planned out per God’s design.
Another way to get started is by taking a personality assessment. If you have not taken a personality assessment, I recommend it. There are plenty to choose from depending upon your price range. I had the opportunity to take the “Taking Flight” personality test in my doctoral program. I liked it so much, I bought it for all my board members. I wanted to see if I could pick out their personality styles. It also offers tips on how to work with the different personality styles, including my own.
If you have the type of personality that prefers to be alone, being in groups is definitely going to push out of your comfort zone. Small groups are a great spiritual discipline, but it may not be something you will want to start out with at first. Knowing your personality style will help you to connect with others and avoid conflict as well.
Another area to research is your learning style. I am not a good reader. I read perfectly fine and received A’s in almost all my classes. I just don’t like to read, that includes the Bible. Yep, I just wrote that I do not like reading the Bible. The Bible is the best gift to us that we could ever receive, other than salvation, but I prefer not to read. I still read my Bible. Sometimes I will have the app on my iPad read the Bible to me. But strictly speaking, reading is not how I learn best.
I learn best by someone teaching me verbally. I learn best by someone showing me how something is done. Left up to my own devices, reading and then fumbling around with something does not always turn out successful the first time.
I also lose my attention pretty quick. It’s not uncommon for me to check Facebook, email, and text messages multiple times while I am doing something else. It’s important that we know what type of learning style we have as well as our bad habits. When we understand how we learn best and what challenges we face (being distracted easily), we can plan for it in advance.
Some might say they do not like to learn. There is no getting away from learning. Like it or not, we are learning every moment of the day, so it is best to understand your personal learning style. To live is to learn. We learn from the day we are born. To forgo the self-discovery process affects the outcome of our spiritual formation and our relationship with Jesus.
Passions and interests are a way God speaks to us. We are each given certain passions and abilities. God uses these to reach others. Our skills and abilities are to be used for God’s work whether it be in a ministry or in a secular job. Our passions and interests are given to us so we may enjoy our hobbies and work. Do you love your job? Have you ever gotten so involved in a project at work that you forgot about the time? Maybe it is a passion for carpentry, music, or arts/crafts.
One way to connect with God is to uncover and understand the spiritual gifts and passions that we have been given by God. When a person is in touch with their passions, it offers a door for God to talk and interact with them.
When we connect with God through our passion or spiritual gift, it allows God to spend time with us. Our hobbies and passions allow us to find others who share the same passion, communing with others. Have you ever heard of a “jam session?”
When we work in an area based on our passion, we become energized and feel a sense of fulfillment.[1] God gifts His children with talents, skills, and experience. When these talents, skills, and experience are joined together in the right environment, life altering, God empowering ministry occurs.[2]
Do you know what your passions are? Have you experienced God during a hobby or event? Here is a list of simple questions to ask yourself when searching for your passions and God given interests:
What topics, activities, or hobbies excite or interest you?
What do you talk about the most?
How and where do you spend the majority of your time?
What type of books or magazines do you read?
What activity or accomplishment has brought you the most joy?
What do you dream about doing?
Where do you feel you can make the biggest difference?
What would you like to learn about?
What activity or hobby would you like to try?
Where have you heard God calling you?
Looking at your answers, do you see God, or do you see the world? In those areas that truly elicit an excitement, is it secular or spiritual? Not only is this exercise a great way to identify your passions and skills but it is also a time for self-reflection. A reality check if you will. If your passions and hobbies are not godly or biblical, you have a problem to address.
If you are spending most of your time at work and not with your family, balance in your life may need to be addressed. If there is no time to connect with God due to spending time running your children from one sporting or extracurricular event to another, leaving no free time in your day, your priorities might need to be rearranged.
If some of your passions and hobbies are unbiblical, a soul check may be in order. If you were able to identify a passion or hobby that elicits a fire in your soul? Bam, that’s God and a great place to start connecting with Him if you already haven’t in your spiritual walk.
I love walking in our local parks. I could walk the trails for hours. It is here where I hear God speak to me. It is on the hiking trail that I find peace and solitude. It is in the beauty of a sunrise and sunset that I see God’s handy work.
I also love to ride my bicycle. I love the feel of the wheels under me.
The wind cooling me as I push toward another mile. I do have to admit,
I have tried to turn it into a competition on more than one
occasion to see just how far I can go on one given bike ride. When it turns into a competition, it is no longer about God.
I also enjoy the solitude of being awake in the early morning hours as this is the only time I am free of caregiving responsibilities and work. I call it the 5am gift which I will talk about in another post. For each person, that unique time where we can connect with God is different. How we connect with God may change over the years as our responsibilities change and as we grow spiritually.
There is a lot more to look at as we discuss the realities of spiritual formation. We have a long way to go in our discussion of self -discovery as we have not even touched behavior assessments, Emmaus walks, personal counseling, spiritual retreats, silent retreats, time spent delving into your family’s past (this alone can be quite revealing), our behavior to a negative or positive event, our daily thoughts and thought patterns, how our beliefs shape us, our physical characteristics, behaviors, likes, dislikes, past experiences, and spiritual gifts.
This is a pretty big list and everything I mentioned can affect your relationship with God and your spiritual formation journey. But before we go any further, let’s talk about what it means to love God. That will happen in my next post.
Peace,
Janet
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