Formation Year Three – When Are You Going to Accept the Call?

Formation Year Three Intensive Week

Our cohort group was sitting around the table for our intensive class. This was our last formation class required for our degree, Formation Three. Thankfully, this formation class only lasted for one semester and then we were free. We were also released from the weekly reports to the formation leader. Things had changed over the summer. Not all of us made it through the formation classes. Some decided to drop out. Others graduated early. My friend Wade, one of three who were cornerstones for me in my formation classes, had a medical issue making it impossible for him to travel to the seminary and participate in class. Several new faces joined what was left of our core group.

The first day consisted of the basic cordial hello’s and reviewing the syllabus. It was later that day when we took turns introducing ourselves and sharing our backgrounds with the group and new formation leader. Most shared updates on their ministries and spiritual lives, something I was not looking forward too.

I debated on how I was going to handle our first assignment in sharing with the group. My cohort group had changed. There were new faces amongst us, and I did not know them. Part of my core group was gone, one graduated and one could no longer be with us due to medical issues. I was normally the first one in the group to volunteer to go first when it came time for sharing or an assignment. But not this day. This day I waited until the end, something very uncharacteristic of me.

My time came to read my paper to the class, describing myself and my background. My paper was harmless. Just the facts mam as the detective would say on Dragnet. It was after I read my paper that I looked at my core friends in the cohort and began to share what had happened over the past two years, things that I had kept hidden from my fellow brothers and sister in Christ.

Me: I need to be honest with you. I wasn’t going to say anything, but I almost wasn’t here today. In fact, I was planning on never seeing or speaking to any of you ever again.

The room fell silent. Smiles turned into somber faces. I then shared my spiritual war with my cohort friends. I told them about my struggle with my field internship and watching someone else live my dream of starting a church. I shared how my parent’s conditions were worsening and their needs were increasing.

My core group was and still is on my Facebook page, so they had seen the updates with my parents, but they were not prepared for just how bad things had gotten. They also saw my dog of 15 years had become blind, hard of hearing, and was suffering from confusion. Between the three, I barely had a moment to rest.

My anger and resentment had grown inside me, displaying someone unrecognizable to anyone who had known me in my past. I admitted to feeling ashamed. Ashamed of feeling such things but worse, ashamed of believing I was ever called to ministry and how I came to think this was all one big mistake.

Thoughts had filled my head. I was too old now to go into full time ministry. I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t ready. I had missed my chance; it was all over for me. I felt that I could not talk to anyone about it. I had grown distant from everyone. No one knew, not even my parents. I was too ashamed to admit anything that I was going through.

My plan was clear, to walk away after the end of our last class together. I was going to unfriend everyone and block them so no one could contact me. It would all be over, and I could go on with living my life, whatever that was after that point.

I then went on to tell them how I asked two questions from God, “Am I called,” and “What do you want from me?” It was Wade who answered the first question on the last day of our Formation Two class, the day I planned to walk away from seminary and God.

I recounted what Wade had said. No one had known, including Wade, what I was going through, yet God used him to send me His answer. I then told them about my encounter with God while reading His Word. The glow that surrounded me. The tears of joy that mysteriously flowed down my face as I had no idea what was happening.

God answered my questions and that was why I was back in class. The love and support poured forth from my core group. The newbies to our group were taken back in surprise but offered words of encouragement. Then one of my core group cohort friends got his back up and shot out a question that took me by surprise.

Tony: When are you going to accept your call? You are obviously called, and we have seen it since our first class. I have seen you grow so much over these three years. When are you going to stop doubting and “accept” your call?

Hearing that question come from a core member of my cohort, one who has known me for three years, caught me off guard. When I entered seminary, I had already had years of ministry experience. I was called. I had confirmation through the church and the elders. I had been knee-deep in ministry for years.

I had a dream in my heart to start a church. I had just lived through the worst spiritual years of my life during Formation One and Two, believing that I had made a mistake and that I was not called. Doubting God and His plan for my life. Believing the lies that were whispered in my ear. Feeling ashamed for thinking I was called into ministry. Dealing with the loss of not one, not two, but three ministries.

Experiencing the increasing demands of my parents care while having to surrender my life so that I could care for them in their final years was taking its toll on me. I turned angry and sullen. I had withdrawn from everyone including God.

I was still shaky and gun-shy stepping into my Formation Three class and final year of seminary. I was still trying to figure out what happened to me after everything I had experienced and was still experiencing. Remember, spiritual formation is a process. God uses everything in our lives to grow, shape, and mold us.

Tony’s question was point blank. He did not hold back. It was a valid question. One I was not expecting. I had just been called on the carpet by a dear friend who had the guts to be honest with me while trying to get me to come to a realization. I needed time to unpack that question.

Accepting the Call to Ministry or to Anything for that Matter

The great thing about the Bible is that it is full of examples for us to learn from and follow. This is true in many ways. Do you want to know how to pray? Just check out the Bible. Do you want to read about the ten commandments? Yep, they’re in there. What about God’s thoughts on adultery or stealing? Yep, you can read about that too.

Then there are stories about people. There is no shortage of stories about people and how they dealt with life, worshipped God, turned away from God, ran from God, and even wrestled with their faith. That’s right, it’s all in there for us to read and learn from their life examples.

Moses argued with God, insisting he did not have the skills or abilities to take on Pharaoh and lead God’s people out of Egypt. God gave Jonah an assignment, but Jonah refused and tried to run away from God. Of course, that landed him in the belly of a whale. How pleasant. The fact is, there is no shortage of examples of people and their bad behaviors in the Bible. This includes responding to God when He calls.

It is important to note that accepting a call to ministry is not limited to being a pastor or minister. This certainly may be the most notable call as God calls us to reach the lost and spread the Good News as commanded in Matthew 28:19.

The apostle Paul received his call on the Damascus road, surrendering his life to Jesus. Paul spent the remainder of his entire life preaching the gospel. But there are other ways to accept the call to a ministry.

Someone who can cook may work in a restaurant preparing food. Another may become a nurse, caring for those who are ill. Some are given the ability to teach and work in the school system, helping children to learn. There are social workers, architects, road crews, grocery workers, and people of every occupation serving the Lord. They have answered God’s call by using the skills, gifts, and talents they were given by the Holy Spirit.

Each one of us has been especially prepared for our assignment. God uses every minute of our life to grow us, train us, provide us with the experiences that we need to complete whatever task God may assigned to us.

It is a process, a journey, just as our spiritual formation is a process and a journey. God is equipping us every step of the way. What gets in the way is us. How many times have we argued with God? Doubted His call for us? Put our dreams and desires in front of His will for us? Argued with His timing? Wanting a ministry now???

It is not easy dying to our flesh, our dreams, and our desires. If it were easy, we would not need the Holy Spirit. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. But we are human. We have wants and desires. We have “lives” that we have put in front of God’s will for us, in front of God’s command to keep Him first place.

Part of spiritual formation is coming into alignment with God’s will for our lives. This alignment comes through our life experiences, our time spent with God, and the willingness and openness to let God into our hearts where true transformation occurs.

When we come into alignment with God’s will for our lives, we receive His anointing to complete the ministry He has assigned to us. When we surrender to God’s will for our lives, abiding in Christ, we receive the power and ability to faithfully complete His work.

Each one of us has a mission and ministry that God handpicked just for us. God gave us the ability to experience drive, passion, and vision. We are called to abide in Him and follow Him with fearless abandonment.

God uses every aspect of our lives to mold us and grow us. Whether the events are good or bad, He does not waste anything, yet uses it to grow us into His image. Every strength, weakness, heartache, success, relationship, and life experience are used to shape our hearts, to draw us closer to him, and to equip us to fulfill our life's calling.[1] We were created to complete God’s work (Ephesians 2:9). We were created to glorify God (Matthew 5:16). Have you accepted your call?

Peace,

Janet

[1] Natasha Sistrunk Robinson, Answering the Call of God, Woman Leaders.com, https://www.christianitytoday.com/women-leaders/2013/january/answering-call-of-god.html?start=1